Beautiful Models: Meta-Decisions
Fragments from imaginary dialogues
“I don’t masturbate, nor will I masturbate EVER again.”
“Because I CHOOSE not to.”
“Is the desire still there?”
“Yes, but much fainter, like a muffled sound in the background.”
“How did you do it?”
“The essential thing to realize is that the desire to masturbate is a HABIT.
Like those ‘hitchhiker weeds’, it stuck to you at some point along the way. And it is in your power to rid yourself of it.
With the right strategy, ANY habit can be undone.
The process starts with a singular decision. That’s what I call a meta-decision, a decision that eliminates a thousand other decisions.
A meta-decision is a profound CHOICE.
A meta-decision is a 100% COMMITMENT.
100%. NOTHING less.”
“The difference doesn’t seem like much.”
“The difference, while apparently insignificant, is HUGE.
Whenever the desire arises is a decision-point.
With anything less than 100% commitment, the decision is between whether to give in to the impulse or not. Sometimes it’s easy, other times – especially when in an unresourceful state – it’s not, and it takes a lot of effort to talk yourself out of it.
It’s a struggle.
Successfully keeping the impulse in check may seem like a victory in the moment. But the impulse will appear again and again and again. This can be during the course of a single day. But day follows day, week follows week, month follows month, year follows year… it adds up.
A useful exercise to realize the sheer magnitude of it is to project it far into the future.
You have to realize at a visceral level that, over the years of your life, you’ll have to fight it a THOUSAND times again.
You’re undoubtedly familiar with chunking-down.”
“Breaking down a problem into smaller pieces to make it more manageable?”
“Yes. The exercise is an inversion of chunking-down. Focusing on the sheer size of the problem. We could call it chunking-up.
With a 100% commitment, on the other hand, whenever the desire arises, you simply and serenely say to yourself ‘I don’t masturbate‘… End of story.
You won’t get there instantly. You build up to it. But it starts with a DESIRE to get there, and a BELIEF that you CAN.
This is a mantra worth repeating a thousand times, until it sticks. Because when it does, it will stay with you FOREVER.
The masturbation habit will also stay with you forever, unless you do something about it.
Contrast these two against one another. Which one would you rather have?”
“Isn’t it restrictive framing?”
“It’s strategic framing.
The choice is symbolic.
One choice symbolizes the extraordinary life you know you want.
One choice symbolizes the small life you’ve been living until now.
Make your pick.”