The Optimal Response
Fragments from imaginary dialogues
“I messed up.
What is the optimal response?”
“It’s a matter of optimally directing attention.
Let’s first focus on the opposite question: (Inversion)
What is the worst response?”
“Focusing on the problem, instead of the solution.
Focusing on what you can’t control, instead of what you can.”
“If you dwell on the problem, you’re stuck in the past.
This is a sunken cost pattern – the past, which is outside your control, influences the present.
As long as you’re stuck in the past, you’re more likely to mess up again, which makes the problem bigger, hence more likely to mess up yet again. This negative feedback loop is a downward spiral pattern.
The optimal response requires breaking these patterns by focusing on what you can control.
It’s useful to think of it as a practice.”
“What is the structure of the practice?”
“As I see it, it has three components:
– Connecting with your Self / BodyMind through your Breath
– Reconnecting with your Center, with your deepest Meaning, however you conceive it for yourself
– Expanding / Opening (Standing Tall, Structural Alignment, Expansive Stance)
– Radical Acceptance / Self-Love
– Letting Go of judgments
– Letting Go of the past
“How about getting a small win immediately after?”
“Centering and Resetting is a small win. It’s worth celebrating.
Getting one more win can make it even more powerful.
Brian Johnson has a beautiful idea which he calls Destiny Math. Every win is a +1, every loss a -1.
The initial loss is a -1.
Centering and Resetting is a +1, which negates the initial loss.
One more win is another +1, which puts you ahead.“
Today, I am working on a facilitation session using a practice like this one. During the session, we journal individually in the group. The idea is to install journaling as a daily practice and especially to help with making decisions. You exemplify this so succinctly here. Can I read out your post in my next session? I call the practice: focused journaling – and am wondering how to optimise this… like The Creative Response Journal? . Do you have a name for your actual journal practice? I’ve noticed you use “imaginary dialogues”.
“Can I read out your post in my next session?”
You can. I like to think of my writing as sharing my Gifts with the world. Feel free to use any and all of them.
“Do you have a name for your actual journal practice?”
I think of it simply as writing, which is an extension of my thinking. I write to clarify my thoughts. I start every day with writing.
Now that I think of it, it often is a kind of journaling, but I hadn’t thought of it this way.
Writing in dialogue started as a little experiment, and eventually became my idiosyncratic writing style, a means of self-expression.
“During the session, we journal individually in the group. […]
I call the practice: focused journaling – and am wondering how to optimise this… like The Creative Response Journal?”
Sounds like a wonderful practice. I like to think of my writing as exploration. I’m exploring ideas and exploring myself. Exploratory Journaling maybe?
Reblogged this on Creative Change Coaching and commented:
I was reading this post on a coaching platform by fellow coach Dani, and it really clicked as an exemplar of the focused journaling I invite my clients to use, especially when stuck or working on making the most creative choice – instead of letting reactivity such as strong negative emotions and outdated thinking make the choice for them. Here’s how we Choose Love, Choose Liberation!